Three years ago, under a harvest moon and as people banged on pots and pans and sang and danced and yelled, one moment we were two, just me and Steve listening to too much Nick Drake and Elliot Smith and watching the ocean from our one bedroom in San Francisco. And the next minute we were three. A little family. Mom, Dad and a little moon man who we would call bug and wiggle worm and sweetie bear.
I grew up in a single parent household. I’m an only child. I never knew what it meant to have a family. I never knew what a Mama – Dada sandwich felt like.
When Steve and I were in our worst moments, I would cry and tell him he was my only link to my past, to San Diego.
“Oh,” he said, “I’m your family.”
And he is. And we are a family of three. Unconventional — mom and dad will never, not ever get married — but here we are. In our little house in a pretty city we moved to so the moon man could grow up around trees.
Trees! I said to Steve. He must grow up around trees!
And as we drive around this pretty city, the wiggle worm says, “Ooh look at the trees. They are amazing.”
“You’ll learn to climb them,” I say. Broken arms be damned.
Three years ago today. Under a harvest moon. I told Steve to get my mother. I was going to push the baby out. My mother was in the cafeteria. The doctor said not to worry, it would take two hours at least. I grabbed Steve by the shirt and told him to get my mother.
My mom came running up the stairs, disappointed to find that they hadn’t even raised the table.
“I’m going to push this baby out now,” I said.
No one believed me.
“You better get ready,” I said.
The doctor shrugged and raised the table. I remember her putting on her booties so slowly.
And then I pushed.
Twenty minutes later I was holding him.
And that was the last time, in three years, my will has won out over the bug.
Happy Birthday, little man.
Mama and Dada love you more than the sun and the stars and a thousand guitars.


19 comments
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September 16, 2008 at 6:34 am
ken
my mom always made a point to remind me that my birthday was a day we both shared. i can see that you feel the same way about your little bug, even if he is a little bastard.
so happy birthday to the both of you guys– i hope it’s a nice sunny, beautiful day there!
-ken
September 16, 2008 at 7:33 am
Boldmama
Happy Birthday Arch and way to go Miss M!
September 16, 2008 at 8:11 am
Recovering Straight Girl
Happy Birthday sweet Archie Boy! Kisses from Halsey and Kennedy and Mikayla and Auntie Kathryn! (And Gingy!)
September 16, 2008 at 8:16 am
kmcdade
Happy birthday to all of you!
September 16, 2008 at 8:52 am
Andie East
Happy Birthday Archer! I’m so sad I live so far away and can’t come and babysit you all the time because we would have so much fun pointing out the colors on all the cards and talking about bike and how “mama is funny”. Cause she is.
Andie is thinking of all of you.
September 16, 2008 at 9:04 am
missburrows
i’m confused. why were people banging pots? were you very, very loud?
September 16, 2008 at 9:10 am
Nathalie
That made me tear up and smear my mascara. Happy birthday to Archer!
September 16, 2008 at 9:18 am
meagank
So cute! I teared up too. Damn makeup. Happy Birthday Archer!!!!!!!!!
September 16, 2008 at 9:45 am
Kristen
I’m fucking crying.
That was beautiful.
Happy Birthday little Wiggle Worm!
And happy birthday little family.
September 16, 2008 at 10:17 am
apollocreed
That was great. Happy birthday to the fam!
September 16, 2008 at 10:28 am
Kiala
Hppay birthday! Only 18 more years until he’s old enough to drink with me!
Omg, I’ll be so OLD.
September 16, 2008 at 10:28 am
Kiala
Happy.
Maybe I’m already drinking. You don’t know.
September 16, 2008 at 11:19 am
CamiKaos
Happy birthday to him and congrats to you.
September 16, 2008 at 11:19 am
stoogepie
Beautifully written. Happy B-day to The Wiggler. May he climb those trees like the monkeyman I wish I had become.
September 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Robert
This was nice.
I had a fish named Mozart Nixon for almost FIVE YEARS. So, I dunno. Beat that Archie.
September 16, 2008 at 3:54 pm
twwirly
beautiful post. i nearly cried.
September 16, 2008 at 4:55 pm
ML
“more than the moon and the stars and a thousand guitars.” …since you don’t know me personally (and even if you did), i am totally stealing that for when i have kids. it is quite possibly the cutest phrase i’ve ever heard.
September 16, 2008 at 6:35 pm
mediaChick
Happy birfday, Little Dude! I’ll hold your disgusting, sticky, bark dust covered coconut macaroons any day.
And, Melissa: Thanks for carrying Little Dude inside you for nine months and squeezing his watermelon-sized body out your teeny hoo-haw so that we can now all enjoy him. (It’s your day, too!)
September 16, 2008 at 7:34 pm
traci
Oh wow. This was beautiful.